Why the G63 AMG might be the world's
looniest automobile
Even a nuclear bunker has a design process
to it, if you consider the functional school of design an integral part of your
knowledge curriculum. Besides the tonnes of concrete, lead and packed earth,
the fallout shelter (as it is also referred to) has to be packed with adequate
rations, some basic form of communication equipment and even insect screens.
All of which serve a purpose – ensuring the survival of the human species and
protecting it against its own follies.
As Wikipedia will tell you, nuclear bunkers
can also exist over-ground, but there’s no mention of a mobile bunker. And
that’s where the G-Class comes into play.
The
G63 replaces the old supercharged G55 as the most powerful, quickest and most
expensive version of the venerable G-class 4x4
It's a design that's withstood the test of
time. Critics pan the 'aged yet resolute' exteriors, but in the same breath
hold some warped sense of fancy for it. Mercedes-Benz (or its customers)
certainly doesn’t seem to care: surviving 35 years of negative sentiment seem
to have worked in the MUV’s favour. The G Class forges on – dusting off the
radiation and criticism with disdain – as if nothing ever happened.
However, it does play its part in
challenging human existence. The on-paper stats for the G63 AMG sound great: a
5.5-litre, twin-turbo V8 petrol that pumps out a chest-thumping 536 bhp at just
5,500 rpm and churns 78 kgm of torque from 2,000 revs. Don't bother asking
about fuel economy and CO2 emissions figures unless you want a guilt trip. Even
if you do, those feelings of remorse will be gone faster than the 5.4 seconds
the G63 AMG takes to hit a tonne. No wonder some people call it 'the flying
brick'.
5.5-litre
V8 powers the G63 AMG to 130mph
There are two, rather obvious, big question
marks about the G63 AMG. One is its drag co-efficient of 0.54. The other is the
body-on-ladder chassis of four millimeter thickness and those live axles. The most
appropriate visual that comes to mind is that of a barge slapped on with a
rocket pack.
It goes like one too: you have to keep both
your hands and legs occupied, your third eye on the road and the bible taped to
your chest. Nothing is as hilarious as the G63 in a straight line: shod with
low-profile tyres, it tramlines and hunts, refusing to stay in a straight line
and even torque steering along the way.
A
large load space means the G63 AMG can carry big loads
A trickle of sweat dribbles down your brow
and breathing gets a bit hard and that's when the owner, Akash Balachandran,
starts to egg you on, asking you to punch the throttle into the firewall. The
man is flipping mad, you think, but then there's an important review to be
done, so you hunker down and follow his bidding. Things only start to get
scarier as you move deep into the tonne and start approaching the double-tonne.
You let out a chuckle out of sheer nervousness while Akash seems deliriously
unfazed.
